Eastesr and More

I'm sure some of you were disappointed with my last post, as it contained exactly zero pictures of you know who :). Sorry about that....actually that post was supposed to just be a catch up of pictures and activities of the past few weeks, so I'm not even sure where all that writing came from....it sort of just happens sometimes :). It really is evidence of the Holy Spirit's work, though (which is SO cool!), because I didn't even know I had all that to say, but after writing it, my own heart was incredibly blessed, as well as some that have read it. What an awesome God we have!

So....here are LOTS of pictures (I may split it up into a few different posts)....you will probably look at these and think she is just the most adorable child in the whole world (just admit it), and you probably won't believe me when I tell you she enjoys screaming instead of napping and whining instead of eating and crying instead of playing by herself....but yes, she is cute enough to cover all that up for the "outside" world. She is going through another phase of not wanting to nap, which means another phase of serious sanctification for me...or shall I say sinning....unfortunately, there is definitely a fair amount of both (the sinning being the unfortunate part) that goes on during my days. Praise the Lord for His grace and unending love.

This is how I found her after a nap one time...clinging to her doggy and as happy as can be...see, Linnea! You are HAPPY when you actually take a nap....who would have thought???

Enjoying her umbrella stroller now!

Bath time! We wanted to see what she would look like with hair...

She had fun trying on her dresses! :) (Ok, ok...I had fun!)

Easter Sunday! We had a wonderful time of worship with our church body in the morning, and then spent the afternoon with my sister-in-law's family. Thank you so much Fujitas for inviting us to celebrate Easter with you! It was SUCH a blessing!

Linnea's cousin, Hannah, playing dress up on Easter :)

Our little "Pooty Bear"

Which Race are YOU Running?

Where do I even begin?? It has been quite some time since I have posted (well...before the post about my Dad :) Who by the way is home and on the road of recovery!)...I guess you could say blogging has not exactly been at the top of my "to do list" recently. I'm not really sure what has, though. To be honest, sometimes I feel like I am in a race and there is no finish line in sight...I'm just trying to keep up and catch my breath when I can. Other times I feel like I'm totally on top of things and really do have time to take it easy...but then I end up doing something like take a nap, or organize that long forgotten drawer, or catch up on other peoples' blogs.

You know what is kind of sad about what I just wrote, though? It's the fact that I truly often don't see a finish line in sight! And that is because I often am running the totally wrong race. I run the Kimberly's Agenda race, and not the race of Christlikeness with the finish line being eternity. Paul..........oh Paul...........my hero, my role model. If only I could be like Paul. Paul admits to being a sinner. In fact, he even calls himself the foremost of sinners (1 Tim. 1:15)...wow! that is humility. He admits to being imperfect (Phil. 3:12), weak (2 Cor. 12:10). But never do we hear of Paul being apathetic. Never do we see him doing his own thing and running his own race. No....Paul always did the will of the Father, and he ran the race of Christlikeness. He was always "pressing on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 3:14)

He knew what Christ had called Him to: to become like Himself. Paul went through more than I could imagine as far as persecution goes, all for the sake of the gospel, glorifying His Father and becoming like Him. He was committed to doing God's will and understood that all that happened to him was a part of God's will (Rom. 1:10; 8:27; 12:1-2; 2 Cor. 8:5; Eph. 5:17; 6:5-6).

I lose sight of this race. I lose sight of what I am actually supposed to be doing during my daily activities. I am supposed to be worshipping Christ in all that I do (Rom. 12:1-2). By loving Him while I love others. By serving Him while I serve others. By meditating on Him during those thoughtless times. By praying throughout my day...praising Him, confessing to Him, lifting up requests before Him. By seeking ways to encourage and serve others, even if I have to go out of my own way. By bringing to mind the truths of what is to come...glorious eternity with my Savior. There will be rewards, but the greatest reward will be meeting my Lord and worshipping Him.

I am a citizen of heaven. This is NOT my home. I am waiting for my Savior. I will someday be like my Savior.....

All these things were made possible because of the gospel. The death of my Lord....

Yes....may I run the race of Christlikeness and live in light of these prescious truths.

Update

Dad's surgery went well!! He ended up having quintuple bypass surgery...crazy! Praise be to our Heavenly Father for sustaining him and the doctors and nurses!!! Thank you so much for your sweet prayers for our family...we couldn't thank you enough. The Lord's peace had definitely overcome my worry throughout the whole day, and I am so thankful!

Please continue to pray, as the first 24 hours after the surgery are very critical...and recovery will be a long process....

Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and all that's within me praise Him. Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and forget not all He's done.

The Man Who Taught Me Jesus

"Daddy" is a precious word and filled with SO many memories. "Daddy" is not a word that everyone has the privilege of saying. "Daddy" is a word that I LOVE calling my dad. "Daddy" is what Jesus is to me....my precious Abba Father, because He has adopted me into His family. So really, I feel liked the most blessed girl in the whole wide world because I have two Daddies!! One daddy showed me I was an orphan and my need for adoption, and the other Daddy gave me an eternal home, and made me His very own child.

Daddy, words can not express how the Lord has used you in my life.....you have taught me Jesus...by being like Him and showing me my need for Him. For that...I am eternally grateful. I love you SO very much. Seeing you grow in your love for the Savior and your desire to serve Him by loving the saints has been such a special gift for me. There are so many Sundays I wish I could sit under your teaching (my favorite teaching!...not to say I do not love my own pastor's teaching!), because your words capture my heart and show me more of who Jesus is. My understanding of the scriptures and the desire to know more has come in great part from you. You have always been true to the WORD, and even been persecuted for it...I feel HONORED to be called your daughter.

It's easy to let one's mind wander....but the Lord doesn't give us grace for mind-wandering....He gives us grace for today and promises it will be sufficient for EVERYTHING he gives us. So why do I feel the pain of losing my Daddy would be unbearable? Because I havn't lost him, and therefor have no need of that grace yet.

Praise be to the Lord Almighty for his beautiful sovereign control over EVERYTHING! I praise Him for causing my Father's appendix to fail...for causing him to have a mild heart attack during the removal of his appendix...for causing the doctor's to notice this and have him taken to Portland for further testing...for finding blockage in all major arteries...I praise Him because the doctor's now have a very good chance of giving my dad many more years of life and service to Him. You can read more of what happened and my Dad's heart on my sisters blog.

Tears come to my eyes knowing that my dad will be going through an extremely serious surgery tomorrow, but joy is in my heart, because we have a Savior who is SO good!! If it were not for his appendicitis, my dad would have probably had a severe heart attack in the near future...so yes, I am very thankful for that. But even more than that, I am so thankful for the beauty of glory...eternity. The fact that I am going to live FOREVER is truly incomprehensible. My mind can not grasp what that means, but I know that I will be worshiping my precious heavenly Father alongside my precious earthly Daddy....along with the rest of the precious family of God. I am SO thankful to be a child of the King!

Dad....how beautiful it is to think about how many lives you have touched...hundreds (if not thousands...seriously) of people are praying for you and will be praying for you tomorrow. And yet I know this doesn't bring pride in you heart, but rather glory to God. You see yourself as an instrument of the Lord, and you have most certainly been just that. God has used YOU to convict and grow SO many people, not to mention bring people to their knees in repentance. Thank you for your years of service to your heavenly Father.

It is because of you, Dad, that I have so much peace right now...because you are the man who taught me Jesus.

I love you Daddy, Shepherd, and Friend!!
Please be praying with us for his open heart surgery, which will start between 12:00 and 1:00pm tomorrow, and be anywhere from 4-6 hours long. Thank you!!

Little Friends and Lots of Fun

Linnea chews on.....

.....just about anything she can (This is a lunch box)

So...I have to say, it is fun to compare my little baby with other little babies.....there are plenty of babies to go around at church, some bigger than her, and some littler. She tries to grab at everyone's faces, but we are working on that :) She IS starting to really be more comfortable with other people and smile at them more, which is encouraging!! She is also doing quite well playing by herself in her crib for about 15 min. once our twice a day.....I'm SO proud of her, as I thought this would make her miserable :)

And my little girl is growing up...she is getting a tooth. At least, we think we see a tooth popping through, it's hard to tell when her incredibly strong tongue is doing everything it can to get my fingers out of her mouth :)

So...here are some pictures to satisfy your Linnea withdraws....

Since my little angel doesn't drink from a bottle, we have started giving her water in a cup, and she absolutely loves it!

Uncle Zach got to spend a few hours with us during his choir trip to Santa Clarita, and Linnea loved him! :)

"Oh Mom....I just love smiling for the camer..."

"Uh-oh....am I in trouble?"

"Oo, oo....I want to chew on that camera....oo, oo...I almost got it!"
Linnea's first time in the shopping cart, and Daddy let her try on hats...she doesn't look like she is enjoying it, does she?
And these next pictures are some of Linnea's friends

This is Braylin, she is 4 days younger than Linnea, but much bigger!! :)

And this is Nora...she is the daughter of one of the gals I meet with every other Wednesday. Do they look the same age (besides the hair)? Nora is 3 months older!!! I know...she is petite!!
Precious....they were holding hands. :)
And this is Jocelyne, she is two weeks younger than Linnea. She is Linnea's Sunday night band buddy, as her daddy plays in the band.

Her new favorite sleeping pose. She sleeps on her side and tilts her head upwards...poor thing, it looks SO uncomfortable, but she seems to enjoy it. When I went in to get her up this morning, she was sleeping on her stomach for the first time!! It was the most precious thing!

And this is Daddy once again making Linnea the happiest girl in the world!

Shattered Expectations

Apparently a mocha frappachino isn't such a good idea at 6:30 at night......but it gives me a good excuse to be able to write. Now, what shall I choose to write about?

How about a message by John Piper I just recently listened to. The last half of his message hit me hard, convicted me, made me so thankful, and was an ever needed reminder of God's truths.....my Dad recommended it after losing my rings, and I am very grateful (Thanks Dad!)!

He addresses the sin of impatience, which he describes to be "murmuring against providence when we are forced to walk the path of obedience in an unplanned place at an unplanned pace."
So basically, impatience is when I am not pleased when my expectations are not met.

I have been struggling with having my expectations thrown out the window time after time after time lately, and have been growing impatient with myself and my daily circumstances. I am slowly but surely realizing that expecations only lead to discontent, because we NEVER know what God is going to bring our way. God uses whatever means to conform us to the image of Christ, and half the time (if not more), it isn't what we expect! So much of what Piper says and the the examples he uses have really been a great reminder of Truth and an eye-opener of God's grace toward me.....not to mention it convicted me and kicked me in the pants!

Let's start with Joseph. The one in the Bible....the Old Testament Joseph. Now HE is something to write about! Talk about a man who's expectations were shattered to pieces, time after time after time. He has this dream of becoming great, and yet His brothers throw him into a pit to die... he probably was so thrilled that they changed their mind and helped him out....only to sell him as a slave. He gets assigned to Potipher in Egypt, and becomes quite respected, only to be thrown in prison for pursuing purity. He works his way up in prison, and is able to interpret the dreams of a men who could be his "ticket" out the there, only to be forgotten for years.

How about a 14 year old girl who was labeled a Huguenot (French Protestant) and was asked to renounce her christian faith, and for refusing to do so, she was put into a tower by the sea with many other women for 38 years. She was young, beautiful and marriagable, and yet lived in a tower for 38 years!

Or how about Benjamin Warfield, a famous theologian from the old Princeton school, who's new bride was struck by lightning on their honeymoon and was paralyzed for the rest of her life. He had dreams, but God changed them.....he stayed by his wife's side for the rest of their life.

Joseph endured about 13 years of shattered expectations and rejection from so many....and yet what does he say to his brothers?

"Now, therefore, it was not you who sent me here, BUT GOD." ~Gen. 45:8a~

GOD sent Joseph! He didn't just "allow" this to happen to him...no, he GAVE Joseph those 13 years of turmoil and hardship. Did God have a purpose? Most certainly! Joseph says it himself..."God sent me before you to preserve life." God was growing Joseph into the leader HE wanted him to be. Did Joseph know that during those years....NO, but God DID. God used the sins of others for the GOOD of Joseph and the people. He had great purpose for Joseph's life. And Joseph was able to look back over those years, and thank the Lord.

I look at someone like Joseph, and I say "Thank you Father for being SO gracious to me at this time in my life....for using MUCH smaller trials to chisel away at my sin." My daily expectations aren't shattered quite like Joseph's were, but none the less, they are often broken.

I would expect after losing my rings to be extra careful to never lose anything again, only to have lost my wallet a few weeks later. You can only imagine the thoughts running through my head...none of which were righteous. Mostly hot anger at my own stupidity and refusing to ask God for help because I was so angry at being such a fool, and in my heart I was even angry that God would let me be such a fool. Needless to say, it took two sweet girls who found my wallet (On a sidewalk...it fell off the top of my stroller when I was walking to the grocery store, and I didn't realize it) and came to my house to return it to me, to bring me to my knees to repent in dust and ashes.

I would expect that I could get 3 simple things done in one day, like dusting, vacuuming and making dinner...things which I could have all gotten done in the matter of a few hours before I became a mother. When the day is over and the house is only half vacuumed, half dusted, and I had to ask my husband to run to the store to get me a few key ingredients I didn't realize I was missing, my expectations were once again...not met.

I would expect that my daughter would nap well, since she has been going down for naps for months now. Well....you already know about those expectations. And I'm sure if you are a mother, you realize how ridiculous that expectation even is.

If you noticed...those are all MY expectations....but GOD has different ones...better ones. God is showing me that my only expectation should be that God probably has a different plan than my own, a better one, and I am to daily surrender myself and trust in Him. Somehow I don't think we would grow very quickly if we always had our desires met. It's the difficulties that cause us to bare fruit. Isn't that what Paul says in Romans?? "We also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance, and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us." ~Romans 5:3-5~

So....when my husband gets home and the baby is crying, the house is a mess, dinner is only half done, I forgot to take a shower, and I feel like I have failed my wifely duties (hopefully this isn't the scenario too often)....may I remember that I am right at the center of God's wills for my life, that my expectations, no matter how "biblical" they may seem, are often not going to pan out how I would think, because God has better ways for me....even in the small, every details of my life. May I rejoice in knowing that God's grace is indeed sufficient and His power is perfected through my weaknesses (2 Cor. 12:9)

"I'm in an unplanned place and I'm moving at an unplanned pace." I didn't see myself being here, but I am here by the providential hand of God. Oh, Lord, help me fight the sin of impatience and give me faith in future grace!

From Linnea

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TRANSLATION:

Dear Everyone Who Reads Mommy's Blog,

I am so excited to be playing on Mommy's computer. She is such a nice Mommy! It is so nice and sunny out today. I love being outside! Mommy and me just went for a walk to Whole Foods to get me more food....mmmm, did I tell you I LOVE food!I want everyone to know that I love to eat sweet potatoes, acorn squash, cereal, and oatmeal. Oh, and I like peas as long as they are mixed with sweet potatoe. Mommy is going to have me try butternut squash, which I am sure I will like, and broccoli, which I am sure I will not like! I played with cousin Hannah on Tuesday, she got all my toys out from my basket and put them all in front of me, but when I started playing with one, she took it away. It was a fun game....she is my bestest friend. I really had fun with Uncle James, too. He entertained me! Ok, that's all. I love you all!

Love,
Linnea Joy