Pride Goeth Before the Fall

That would be from Prov. 16:18, and let me tell you, I have been experiencing some serious falling the last couple of days!

...It all started with me sitting in the doctor's office and watching a clip from Accent Living on "Toddlers and Temper Tantrums." I was shocked at the terrible wordly advice being given, and the horribly behaved children being shown as a demonstration of what they called a "normal stage in life that all parents will have to deal with." They were saying that parents simply need to be prepared for these "fits" and to accept them for what they are.

The basic thinking is that a parent needs to identify why their child is throwing a fit and change the circumstances to help him cope better....i.e. - make sure they get enough sleep, give them foods they enjoy eating while still trying to be healthy, try not to do things you know will upset them, etc. The kicker came when she said, "Temper tantrums are really just a normal and even healthy stage of development where a toddler is learning how to assert himself and gain some control of his life."

WOW! And what made me really sad was watching the woman sitting near me nodding at this and buying into it. I wanted to yell..."It's called SIN, and yes, ALL toddlers will be born with it, but they need to learn obedience and submission to authority, they need to be taught the gospel and how sin separates them from God, and they need to understand that their sinful actions result in consequences, not in a change of circumstances that is more to their liking!" No, they won't understand the depths of these things at such a young age, but the training begins here.

Ok...so these were some of my thoughts. And here is where the pride begins to seriously take route. I begin to think to myself, "Wow, Linnea never throws tantrums like that, because we have taught her that that is disobedience to Mommy and Daddy and disobedience to the Lord, and there will be consequences for her actions." I'm thinking we are doing a pretty good job right about now. Sure, there are days where I wonder if she will ever stop sinning and I am at a loss at how to be a godly mother, but overall, I was pretty proud of myself.

So I think the Lord decided to crank things up a notch for Aaron and I. :) Defiance and rebellion have been rearing their ugly head in Linnea, and "no" has officially become a very tempting word for her (you see...I thought this would never be a problem, because she "knows better"...haha...you see this great pride of mine!?). She enjoys throwing things when told she can't have something she wants and she likes to hit mommy and run away after she has already been spanked for something. I then start to wonder what went wrong, and feel like I'm losing any wisdom I may have had!

And this is where the serious humbling comes in. WHO AM I to think that I can control or change my daughter's heart?!? Yes, I am called to be faithful in training her up in righteousness, but I have no right to think that any change in her is because I am a "good" parent. I am starting to realize that it's true...she really is COMPLETELY in the Lord's hands, and no matter how badly I want to see her defiant, rebellious heart change towards me (and ultimately towards God), I can do nothing but bring her before the throne of grace, begging the Lord to save her little soul (as soon as possible, I usually pray!)

THEN I read an incredibly fitting post on my sister's blog! She copied and pasted a post by Kevin DeYoung, which not only gave me a good laugh, but gave me some great things to think about! I would highly recommend taking the time to read it. What I came away with is that above all, I am responsible to love my Lord and Savior so much so, that my children can witness that love on a daily basis. I want the gospel to be lived out in my life. I can't control Linnea's heart, plain and simple, but I CAN love her with the love of Christ. I am going to fail many times as a parent, or shall I say I already have, but that is where the beauty of the sovereign power of God lies...He promises to work even through my imperfections, and her salvation is in HIS hands, NOT mine!

So, after one of the hardest mornings yet for poor Linnea, who had a few spankings and three periods of sitting on her bed, I am officially humbled, leaning on the Lord for strength and wisdom, and SO thankful that HE is faithful to work out His perfect plan through imperfect me, even when it comes to parenting! May He continue to dig the pride out of me, and keep me on my knees before Him!